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What The Fuck Is Gluten

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Whats Making You Fat Boring And Bloated Are The Copious Amounts Of Carbohydrates Youre Consuming With Gluten

WTF IS HAPPENING!! “Reaction Video”

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What? Gluten-free products dont have carbs!, I hear you say. Wrong. Oh so wrong. Almost all gluten-free products have as many carbs as non-gluten-free foods and in the case of the ever-popular rice flour, even more carbs. Because gluten-free and carbs are not the same thing. Cutting gluten out of your diet to lose weight and if youre being honest with yourself thats the only reason youre doing it is superfluous. Its akin to cutting off your hand to run quicker. But I get like, super bloated and full whenever I eat a bowl of pasta or a loaf of bread. Eat less. Portion sizes account for the majority of bloating, dummy.

So, with that learned, its time to give gluten a second chance. And fall in love with your favourite foods all over again. The way they were meant to be carcinogenic, loaded with cholesterol and fresh for months. Because regardless of what GOOP and or pseudo science says, all the proof you need to the secret of living longer is right around the corner, in a bakery. In a loaf of bleached, gluten-infused white bread with more preservatives than Sandra Bullocks face. For the current rate of life expectancy is higher than ever and its all thanks to gluten and those four syllables: pre-serv-a-tives, not just preserving delicious freshness but life, too.

So Gluten Free = Healthy

Okay Steve, but what if I dont have a medical issue, should I still be going gluten-free?

Not so fast there, partner.

Just because something is gluten-free DOES NOT make it healthy. Going gluten-free might help you lose weight , but depending on HOW you go gluten-free, you might actually gain weight and get even unhealthier.

Just as theres a wrong way to go Paleo and a wrong way to go vegetarian , theres a wrong way to go gluten-free.

A lot of these new gluten-free products strip out the few healthy components of their regular versions. On top of that, a gluten-free version of a certain type of food is oftentimes 20-200% more expensive.

If you go gluten-free by simply just switching your diet to gluten-free bread, gluten-free pizza, gluten-free pasta, gluten-free bagels, gluten-free Rice Krispies, and gluten-free cookies, you have made no real dietary changes and are setting yourself up for nutritional deficiencies, weight gain, and a plethora of other issues.

This is why the emails I receive announcing: but Im eating healthy: paleo cupcakes and gluten-free pancakes! drive me crazy.

If you are looking to eat a gluten-free lifestyle, focus on eating more REAL foods instead of finding fake substitutes for the crap you used to eat!

Here are some real foods that ARE gluten-free:

  • Meat
  • Nuts

Does that diet look familiar? It shouldits essentially the Paleo Diet!

Just remember, Steve says Relax.

Shutting The Fuck Up Is Gluten Frees Add That To Your Diet T

enemy of the Shutting the fuck up is gluten frees add that to your diet T-shirt In addition,I will do this Soviet Union. He called it the evil empire and predicted it would be consigned to the ash heap of history. next Image 1 of 3 FILE MOSCOW, RUSSIA MAY 31: In this handout from the White House, U.S. President Ronald Reagan shakes hands with a boy as Mikhail Gorbachev looks on during a tour of Red Square May 31, 1988 in Moscow, Soviet Union. ) No president had ever used such strident language before. Even Nancy begged him to tone it down. He refused, and the American people were largely behind him. The post-World War II generation had lived with the Cold War threat all their lives, and they believed the Soviet Union was the biggest danger to America. Reagan kept the heat on the Soviets in the early years of his presidency, but there seemed to be little room for progress. Then, in 1985, things changed when Mikhail Gorbachev

Also Check: Is Kraft Italian Dressing Gluten Free

Is It Possible To Be Too Afraid Of Gluten

PodcastDear Gluten Dude

Podcast Transcription

Welcome to Episode 3 of Dear Gluten Dude where I answer emails sent to me from the gluten-free community regarding a whole range of topics. Today were talking about paranoia and how much a newly diagnosed celiac really needs to worry about gluten and cross-contamination.

As always, no sponsors here but I do have a mobile created specifically for the celiac community that I promise you will help you live a better gluten-free life. Check it out at Okon to the inbox.

Hey Gluten Dude. Im so glad I found your site! Im having a mental issue that Im sure is not unique, so I hoped you could help. I feel like Im slipping into crazy territory with the level of concern I have about gluten. Im recently diagnosed and still getting the hang of it, but I find myself freaking out when my daughter puts her lunchbox on the kitchen counterwasnt it also on the school lunch counter? And on the kitchen counter at her dads house?

But what about her blankie? It was at her dads house! And her grandmas house! I cannot wash it every time shes at my house, but then it gets on the couch, and then I sit on the couch, and then I eat a snack OMG GLUTEN AHHHH! Or her clothes when I give her a hug. OrOrOr

While yes, we all need to be extremely diligent, the majority of that diligence is when you are outside the comforts of your own home. At home, common sense should prevail.

Til next time my friends.

Why Do People Go On A Gluten Fuck Gluten, F#CK Celiac Disease Cool Gift T

Gluten can be found in many foods, so nixing it completely can be a big commitment, but there are medical conditions that require strict gluten avoidance. Again, someone with celiac disease will have to completely eliminate gluten from their diet. That’s because consuming even small amounts of gluten can trigger serious symptoms, including abdominal pain and bloating. But celiac disease isn’t the only condition that warrants a gluten-free diet. Some practitioners recommend that people with other autoimmune conditions, such as inflammatory bowel disease, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, psoriasis, lupus, and rheumatoid arthritis, avoid gluten.

There’s also non-celiac gluten sensitivity. For people with this condition, consuming gluten causes bothersome side effects due to an inflammatory response. Symptoms may include flu-like feelings, bloating and other gastrointestinal problems, mental fogginess, and fatigue. The remedy is to avoid gluten.

Another condition, dermatitis herpetiformis , is a skin rash that results from eating gluten. While people with celiac disease may also have DH, you can have DH without being diagnosed with celiac disease.

RELATED: 5 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Gluten

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Experts Delve Into The Gluten Free Craze


If you want to scare a Los Angeles resident, dont pop out of their shower in a Halloween mask tell them youre taking them to a bagel shop with not a single gluten-free option.

We kid, we kid. Though stereotypical wellness trends are especially saturated in LA, the gluten-free craze has been sprouting every which way in recent years.

It seems that everyone and their mother is avoiding gluten like the plague. This might seem odd, especially because this intolerance hasnt always existed.

So whats the deal? Why is everyone suddenly allergic to gluten?

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Summary Of Gluten Free Menu Options At Mcdonalds

Pro tips and a quick summary of everything gluten free at McDonalds

  • McDonalds has very limited options for people with gluten allergies and Celiac Disease.
  • When you order, tell them you have an allergy or Celiac Disease so they take precautions with your meal.
  • McDonalds has different items internationally, this menu is just based off the US!
  • McDonalds has an average rating of 2.5 stars on Find Me Gluten Free indicating a poor experience for most people with gluten allergies who visit.
  • Users shared reviews that the grilled chicken and beef patties can be safe.
  • All frappes, lattes, hot chocolate, shakes, and drinks are safe to enjoy!
  • See other top menus: Burger King, Wendys, Chipotle
  • What Does A Gluten Free Diet Consist Of

    WTF is Gluten?

    “A gluten free diet consists of all sorts of tasty goodness!” courtesy of Eurofruit

    This is the million dollar question. There are so many gluten free food lists out there and advice on what brand of this you can eat and what brand of the other that you can’t eat. So to make it simple, here is my interpretation of a safe diet.

    Tip! Print this page out and give it to your friends and family.

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    Eating Out With Celiac Disease Is Stressful The Gluten Dude App Lists Only Restaurants That Have Been Personally Vetted So You Can Spend Less Time Worrying And More Time Enjoying Yourself

    Omg yesss this is so me. I especially feel horrified at the checkout counter since somebody could have bought bread just before me and glutened the whole belt. The biggest problem is that I dont even know if d be able to tell if I got glutened : My dream is to someday have a gluten sniffing dog or perhaps a celiac friend/test-bunny to go out with. Thanks for all the work gluten dude, it gives me some hope. Im excited that theres a podcast now!

    More Information About Chick

    Looking for additional information about Chick-fil-A, their foods, and nutritional/ingredients facts? Here are some resources weve found:

    • Official Chick-fil-A Nutrition + Allergens Page:
    • Full Chick-fil-A Menu and Location Finder:

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    Shutting The Fuck Up Is Gluten Free Add That To Your Diet

    • This dick is gluten free 10 nov 2015
    • If my pants aren’t at my ankles, shut your mouth!10 nov 20157.9K67
    • I will say, as annoying as it is sometimes that people mock the whole gluten free thing , I’m happy that at least it being a hipster thing has made more restaurants and stores have gluten free options. makes life much easier :)11 nov 2015
    • 10 nov 201519115
    • Celiac disease means your body rejects gluten and inflames your intestines, so for anyone that hasn’t fully grown yet their growth will be stunted severely and can lead to stomach cancer. So honestly their justification for needing to be gluten free is quite adequate, mis-informed shitlords.10 nov 2015226
    • Hey ass holes, I’m allergic to gluten and literally feel it as it moves through me cutting and shredding every inch of my intestines until I finally shit out 99% blood and a tiny bit of the food. But oh heaven forbid I quietly and nervously ask a waiter about something that doesn’t hurt me10 nov 20151812
    • For those of you who believe that people who go gluten free simply to try to loose weight or be healthier, first off, fuck you all. Second off, there’s this thong call Celiac disease which causes stomach cancer if the patient consumes gluten for a long enough period of time. Google it bitches10 nov 2015

    Summary Of Gluten Free Menu Options At Chick Womens Fuck Gluten Fuck Celiac Disease Funny Gluten Free V ...

    Pro tips and a quick summary of everything gluten free at Chick-fil-A.

  • Grilled chicken with lettuce wrap or gluten free bun.
  • Grilled chicken nuggets are gluten free.
  • Tell them you have an allergy so they take precautions with your meal.
  • Fries and hash browns are gluten free.
  • Ice cream in a cup is gluten free.
  • Fresh Sweet Tea and Lemonade are gluten free.
  • Read Also: Publix Whole Wheat Pizza Dough

    So Should I Go Gluten

    Long story short: if you are going to go gluten-free, do it the right way.

    Eat more real foods. Just because something is gluten-free does NOT make it healthy. Filling your diet with processed gluten-free foods is the wrong way to follow through with a gluten-free diet.

    If you are not gluten intolerant, and you dont have celiacs, and eating gluten causes no ill effects: are you happy, healthy, and do you look good naked? If you can say yes to those three things, by all means keep doing what youre doing its working for you. Everybody is different and no one diet works for everybody.

    However, if you cant say YES to all three questions above, consider adjusting your diet not necessarily cutting out gluten, but moving towards more real foods.

    I dont believe I have issues with gluten digestion, so I dont mind eating foods with gluten occasionally. I know foods with gluten come from grains and contain lots of carbohydrates, so I try to minimize the consumption of these foods whenever I can. When I DO eat them, I can do so without adverse affects on my health or waistline, because its only on occasion.

    Note: I do cut out foods with Gluten when Im trying to slim down and drop my body fat percentage as low as possible.

    What Is Gluten Free Flour

    Gluten free flour is a term that is applied to flours that are made of non-gluten containing products. There are many kinds of gluten free flours available at supermarkets these days, along with many all purpose gluten free flour blends that are designed to be an easy to use replacement for wheat flour. Gluten is a protein found in wheat, rye, barley and triticale that, when water or liquid is added to it, makes an elastic dough. Gluten free flours on their own do not have this elasticity and typically produce a much denser product, so blends of different types of grains are used to create gluten free flour mixes with a more versatile consistency that will work well in the same applications as wheat flour.

    If you are planning to do a lot of baking with gluten free flour mixtures, it is worth taking the time to try different brands to see what flour blends work and taste the best in your baking.

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    What Is Gluten Free At Mcdonalds

    In this article and guide, well highlight all the gluten free menu items, sides, and other gf options available at McDonalds. Want to learn more nutrition and allergen facts about McDonalds foods? Check out their Allergens & Sensitivities Guide here.

    McDonalds doesnt have a lot of gluten free options and has a high risk for cross-contamination. Please keep that in mind if you have Celiac Disease or a gluten allergy. Also, keep in mind this post is based off of information for the United States locations. McDonalds offers different items and ingredients worldwide, so you should check your local McDonalds website to confirm what they serve near you.

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